In mid January we found out we were expecting our second child due September 23rd. We were so excited our son was going to have a sibling. My first trimester was uneventful just like my first pregnancy but when I entered my second trimester I started having issues and at 20 weeks just halfway through we lost our dear son Matthew. This was so devastating to us and so hard to process. We miss him every day but know that he is well cared for in heaven with family and friends.
I’m writing about this not for people to feel sad for us but to understand where my inspiration has come from.
I was given full maternity leave and took it knowing I needed the time to heal mentally. During this time I focused on me and my family. I put my mind into finding myself again and picking up the hobbies that had at one point been a part of me. I started reading again which I hadn’t done in years insisting that I just didn’t have time, this time I found the time. I started getting my Son’s big boy bedroom ready for him, looking for furniture and decor (more to come here)! I eventually found my getaways and ways to cope with the loss of my son. One of the biggest things I did was to reconnect to God and trust that he has a plan for me and my family. I’m learning to let go and treasure what I have and not look back but look forward to the exciting twists and turns that God presents me with daily. There is a plan for me I just don’t know what it is yet and I have to learn to enjoy the journey!
I will say that in these four months while I did lose a precious child I have gained so much; refocus on my family, my husband and I are closer than we ever have been, I’m close to God again, I’ve learned to let go and I have begun to find myself again.
“I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the LORD.” Samuel 1:27,28